cleos diary

Hey everyone. I have just noticed how crap i am at updating this whole blog thing. I noticed that I have serious commitment problems. I don't no what is wrong with me. I think i have not really been blogging on here as i have really got into blogging on youtube. You can check me out. My youtube is caylacleo. Search for me lol.

Anyway. For the like 100th time I am going to start blogging what i eat so that i can stick to my diet. I am going to start weight watchers again when i get money to go shopping.
THE REASON I AM GOING TO LOOSE WEIGHT

1 BECAUSE I AM GOOD ENOUGH, I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY
2 I WANT TO BE HAPPY
3 I WANT TO HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE
4 I WANT TO SHOP WHERE I WANT AND LOOK AND FEEL GOOD.

I am going to start 2mo.

wish me luck

xxx

Hey, so i had a bit of a think about it. I have decided not to blog about my boyfriend. We had a massive argument as i said in my last blog. but im over it. I cant even be bothered to talk about it anymore lol.

the diet is going well. im loving my new job. Im gonna get on the scales when im home this weekend. Then i will post new pics.

i got my hair done. I will post a pic. I dyed it black again and now i have this wave thing going on.

will update the rest of this 2mo as im soooooooo tired.

3 march 09

november 2008

please not the gaps in pic. this is deliberate. due to the massacre that they call christmas. there is not that big of a difference, but im happy. mainly because im nearly back to how i was beofore the massive binge feast of december. 

ps check out my new camera gives me a bit of color lol.

ok thats more than enough blogging for one day.
i had a massive arguement with my bf i broke up with him, in anger. im not sure if i should blog about it. i said i would keep this as i diet blog. i will have to think about it on my walk to work to mo (see previous blog)

nite peeps x

hey im sorry about my last blog, i was being totally stupid. i dont know what was wrong with me!
but good news is. i have a new job. yay. im working as a catering assistant. (i kno, what the hell is with me and food) . that is not the good news, the good news is that i have to walk like a mile there and back to get to the station from work coz it is in a weird place ant the train and the walk is faster than the bus. so basically im forced to walk 2miles every day to get to and from work. so im getting way more exercise than i would normally. and to be honest, i dont really mind the walk. it gives me some time to think. it is the only time of the day when i just walk and clear my head. i know it sounds crazy, but im in such deep thought i dont even realize how long i have been walking. so a tip guys, when u need to clear ur head, get away and just think go for a long walk. you will be suppressed how much better you feel after.

but anyway. the diet. well its going ok. i have not really been strict but im not really caring at the moment. im just focused on exercising more. i have been quite busy so i dont really have time to cook so i just grab something at work. this is a typical day.

breakfast

cereal -i really like fruit and fiber . it keeps me full

lunch
at work, tuna melt panini, or a sandwich

dinner
sandwich when i get home

maybe a hot chocolate before bed
and two cups of tea at work

i know i does not sound like much but it keeps me going. and i think the sandwiches are around 250-400 cal each, so its more than enough

blah blach enough about all that.

im going home to london this weeked for my sis birthday. should be good. mmm cake (obseesd) i know lol

ooh and i have new pics!

take care

Hey, I dont usually do this but i have not had a chance to take a pic for a while.

I have a video on youtube, watch it .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW4kLtJnhiY

feel free to comment on here or youtube about what you think my ethnic make up is, if any.

hope ur all good

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hey. I hope u are all cool. Im really trying to blog more often but things are so crazy at the mo. i have so much uni work to do, m family is falling apart and im having loads of arguments with m boyfriend. I feel like m diet is the only thing i have control of in my life and i piss myself of because i dnt feel like i even control that as well as i should. people say im to hard on myself, but i hate m body, i hate that my life i such a mess and i hate that nothing goes the way i want it to. I really dont know why i cant stick to anything. i really dont. i need medical help lol. not as in pills, as in psychological. maybe i have some deep routed childhood trauma that im to scared to address. or maybe im just fat and lazy. i dont know. any ideas....

anyway.

i will blog tomorrow

when im in a better state of mind

much love.

Hey. i know i know its been ages. But i really am not good with this posting everyday thing. Im not gonna bang on about how much i weigh coz its getting a bit boring now. Well, thats what i think... My Statistics on how many people view my blog would say otherwise!

anyway

as you all know im a diet freak. But i have this weird inability to stick to diets and exercise. Well that is soon about to change my lovelies. I have found this new motivation. OK dont laugh, but watch the biggest looser. I really recommend it. Like, when you would normally sit and watch random videos on you tube watch a biggest looser video. you dont have to sit and watch the whole thing, just watch one part at a time when you get the chance. it will motivate you. i know its so typical american style over dramatic over emotional tv but its worth watching. If American tv it truly unbearable i recommend the biggest looser australia. just type tblaus into youtube. i think there are 3 full seasons on there. let me know what you think.

i have a lecture and some things to do so i will finnish this blog soon

much love

hey its day 5.

im starting to feel alot better about this new diet. i think i have more energy and feel really motivated. last night i got really tired quite early im not really sure why tho. i ate around 1000cal i think.

i dont have much time as eastenders is on in a bit

this is what i had on day 4.

2 bananas

chili con carne

brown rice

some cheese.

today. day 5

soup

cottage pie

banana 

 

Hey was sup

i just thought i would give everyone an update. I have been shopping and im not really sure what/if i should stick to a diet. I have decided that maybe i should try eating good food and making good choices. This way i will not binge on all the foods that i want and have not allowed myself to eat. But part of me feels like i can not be trusted. i know that if im not strict i will just eat whatever. I was thinking maybe its strict or nothing.

way back when i did the atkins diet. and i lost quite alot of weight then. i was thinking maybe do an atkins diet style with low carbs and lots of protein. but im not really sure yet.

These are my new goals. i might print them off so i can be reminded. post them around my room so when i go to gab something bad i will think again.

GOALS

TO LOOSE 26 TO 30 POUNDS BUY FEB THE 9TH. THIS IS SO I CAN GO TO AWAY FOR VALITINES DAY AND LOOK DIFFERENT.
I WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE A DIFFERENCE
I WANT TO SHOP FOR COOL CLOTHES THAT LOOK GOOD ON ME
I WANT TO GO AWAY AND NOT WORRY ABOUT HOW I LOOK AND JUST HAVE FUN

i was thinking maybe i should post pictures more often. maybe like every 3 days. this way i think if im visually reminded about how i look i will do something about it. but on the other hand, i dont think there will be that much difference between 2-3 days and i think weekly pictures will make a more dramatic difference.

ok so what have i had to eat

well yesterday was a bad start. i think i tried to much to soon so i ended up binging at the end of the day.

woke up late missed breakfast

had

bowl of soup. was around 300cal

then at 10pm got hungry

beans 100cal
4 fish fingers 200

the at 2pm was starving and could not sleep

had some wedges prob. 250cal
veg burger. 120 cals

see not good. drank hardly any water and did no exercise. see bad start

today

mars delight choc.
steak
leeks
wedges
large roast pepper

banana

1 cup of herbal tea.

i think thats it. im not sure how much i weight at the moment as i dont have a scales. or i dont have a tap measure. but when i go home at the weekend i will post the info and let yall know.

im a bit worried about London because there is so much temptation for bad food and sweets and snacks. old habits really do die hard. or whatever the saying is. i cant remember.

ok i think that is enough for today. i wish i could whack out essays in the time it takes me to do a blog. lol

peace and love
cleoxx

Hey
I got a message from blog.co.uk saying how i have not been online for ages. so i figured i would get back into this. Just so you all know my trip to Jamaica this summer was amazing. i had the best time even. I am still with my boyfriend. he is still so nice and all i could want in a boyfriend and love him loads.

Your probably wondering if the blog will still work as im back. But good news (ish). I am in the early planning stages of my next trip. I am thinking late jan 2009 or feb. The reason why im starting now is that i have not done much at all over the summer up until now. 
I also think its good that i start now and not in Jan when its only a matter of weeks. I also think i wont feel as bad about x-mas if i have done the leg work first.

so ok i have my new pics. deep breath...

As u can see.

I have no waist. need to work on that. well everything as a matter of fact.